Starting Over

Sometimes I go out and have an unsatisfying night and realize I'm not that good. Sometimes I get a little spoiled when I have some success and start riding this "high" in which I can see myself getting any girl.

Then it hits you bam! You're at a bar or club surrounded by gorgeous girls with outrageous bodies dressed in tight little slinky dresses our sporting an ass in a tight pair of jeans that goes for miles, and you realize that the "quality" you thought you were getting is nothing compared to these girls.

This is where the rubber meets the road. I had an epiphiney last night that these are the girls you have to start gaming to get good. And that means going to the places where these girls congregate. High end clubs. And these are the hardest places to game. But if you figure this out the rest will be easy in comparison.

So what does this mean as far as my personal development? I'm kinda starting from scratch. I have to be prepared t get blown out a lot for a while until I get calibrated and adapt socially in that environment.

Lot's of times I'll end up at places that suit my pick-up style, but don't necessarily lend itself to having the hottest girls to practice on. I need to change this.

So what am I going to do? Start gaming at the bars and clubs that cater to the hottest women.

Being Too Invested

I feel very outcome dependent when I go out on Match.com dates. I am trying to break this down and figure it out. I don't feel this way when I go out and do cold approach pick-up, so there must be something that is affecting my mindset. I think it's because I am too invested in the date (girl). What does this mean exactly? The following is going to sound very "cold" and "scientific", but its the easiest way to relay the concept and figure it out in my own head. It means I:

• Drive to meet them (invest my time).
• I pay for the drinks and appetizers (invest my money).
• It feels like a "date" (invest my emotions).

So this has an impact on how I act during the night. I think I am a little more needy then usual. I might be a little too try hard. I want there to be a "payoff" at the end of the night. I want a "return" on my investment. And when I don't get it I feel like a failure.

Compare this to going on and doing cold approach pick-up. There is no investment other then my own in myself. I am spending my time to go out, my money on myself, and my emotions on myself to make myself happy. And if I end up getting laid at the end of the night, it's a great "return" on a minimal investment in her, and a major investment in myself.

Cool things to incorporate into your lifestyle

Incorporate some cool things into your lifestyle. If you don't have cool hobbies or interests you need to cultivate them. I am working on incorporating some cool things into my lifestyle. I have created a list, not all of them I have started - but I will try to get to each and every one of them. I am trying to one new, cool thing a week to learn and explore. I've found this also gives me interesting things to talk about during my pick-ups and dates:

• Indoor Rock Climbing
• Beer Brewing
• Kyaking
• Surfing
• Improv
• Yoga
• Cooking
• Salsa
• Poetry
• Drawing/Art

LMR - Twice now in 3 days

I've had a couple instances of LMR recently. I'm not sure where it's coming from, or if it's just a result of me being too much a pussy!

Sunday - I was at this meet up event at the park in Manhattan Beach. One of those Sunday concerts. I was doing my own thing for the first hour or so I was there. Relaxing on a blanket. Getting some sun. After the music started I wandered over to where the majority of the group was. I said "hi" to an older, in shape greek/italian milf that I seen before at some of the other meet-ups. She asked me to dance we ended up staying together body to body for the rest of the entire concert. We decided to go to the Purple Orchid Lounge in El Segundo after the dance ended to hang out. I laid out some sexual frames both at the park and at the bar. Once we were alone at the bar we had our hands all over each other, lots of kissing and groping. I set the frame that we were going back to her house. Pulled her outside...AND THEN BAM! She say's she wants to wait until the next time we get together. I act like it's no biggie and am cool with it and we part. What I should have done was get her in my car to listen to some music and escalated there.

Wednesday - Match date with a 41 yr old milf with fake tits. Her status on match said "seperated." Now I will make the case that anybody with a status of seperated on match is not looking to get into a new relationship. They are just getting out of an old one for god's sake. They want to have fun and get laid. So we meet at McKenna's, I run frames, we bounce to another bar called Khourey's, I escalate and kiss, run frames, place her hand on my erection over my jeans. I pull her to my car, more kissing, I suck on her tits...AND THEN BAM! She say's we'll meet earlier in the evening next week and have some fun at my place.

I need to figure this out. I am conveying "boyfriend material" and thus they want to wait, am I not seeing the signs and waiting too long to pull, or am I just not getting them comfortable enough with the idea of sex?

Sticking Points

When you go out, make a list of a couple sticking points you want to work on and consciously keep them in your mind when you're working your sets. If you want to get better, you should never go out to do "pick up" without a few things to test, work out, and explore. It can be anything from body language, vocal tonality, openers, material stack, sexual frames, eye contact, kino, etc (you get the drift).

Here are a few of mine:

• I still don't approach the turbo hotties (I still feel a little intimidated).
• I am not opening enough sets each night (I want to average 3 sets per hour).
• I have too many plutonic conversations and not pushing the sexual frames.
• I feel bad when a girl gets offended by the sexual frames (I should be unapologetic and push through this).

So fellas, make a list and go out and methodically work on them...

Things To Come...

It's was an interesting Sunday. Not because I got laid or had some crazy sexcapade. It's about the potential of things to come. I had 3 sets in Huntington Beach Saturday night, and although I got 2 phone numbers out of the 3 sets, I didn't think it was a great night. I met a cougar from Chicago at Perq. She is married (I know, I'm going to hell), but was very caught up on conversation and the sexual frames and roleplaying we were doing in the bar. We exchanged numbers and I sent her a text around 1:30 am as the bar was closing. I didn't hear back and didn't think she was interested. But 16 hours later she sent me a message. Obviously she is interested in making something happen or she would have just ignored me. She is here until Thursday. I'm going to try and make something happen.

The other number was 2 set of 25 yr olds. I sent the same text as the bar was closing at 1:30 am. They actually called later that night but I couldn't get them to my place. We've been texting on Sunday and they brought up a 3-some. Maybe they're not serious, who knows. But there is a possibility.

So I guess the moral of the story is...give yourself as many options as possible. You will be surprised what can happen and where things will lead you.

Her Frame was Stronger then Mine

I was out in Huntington Beach last night. Running some sets, one of the stops along the way was a hotel bar called Zimzala. I was with Decibel and we were talking to a 6 set of yoga intructors. I was talking to one with a European accent and we were vibing about Astrology and compatability of signs. I decided to run my naughty palm read on her. When I got to the "blowjob" line, she was completely offended and said I was out of line.

So what did I do? I said I was "joking" and that "obviously you didn't like my joke." I was basically making excuses for my behavior and being a pussy. I stopped talking to her and moved on.

What should I have done? I should have kept plowing. Igonored her comment and moved on to my next stack of material. This keeps me in control of the frame.

Tues Aug 3, 2010 - Pornstar Karoake in Burbank

I was a choade. I don't ever use this word, but I am using it now. I went out Solo to Pornstar Karoake at Sardos in Burbank. I've been there a few times and gotten numbers, one that's led to a lay and the other a date. I took a step back in time to my old self tonight. I sat on a stool at the bar and did very little interacting with anyone. I didn't allow myself to get into a good "state" as its known in the community...and I felt it. There were a few available sets, so there is no excuse. I felt it deep in my core. I sat there and felt the ackwardness of being surrounded people laughing, conversing, and having a good time while I was stone cold quiet. I felt bad. I wanted to talk, I missed it. But as it got later in the evening, I found the desire to get started diminsh more and more.

I got opened by one girl. She wanted to fuck. She handed me her business card. It said "caretaker". I handed it back. She was a hooker.

A pornstar walked by and looked right into my eyes. Since I wasn't in "state" and hadn't been speaking, I got out a meek "hi" and quickly looked away. She kept on walking.

But as I sit her today and think about it. It wasn't a bad night. It was a reminder. It was a reminder of what I used to be and am not anymore. It was like going back in time to another self, and I can see how miserable that was.

I like what I am able to do today, to cold approach, hook a set, escalate, turning nothing into something...perhaps a friend, a date, perhaps sex. So Tuesday night was reinforcement, to keep learning, keeping putting in the effort, keep approaching, because I am evolving...I am getting good. And every night is a blank canvas, I get to start over. What happened yesterday doesn't matter.

Monday August 2, 2010

Met one of my regular rotation girls for dinner at Tantalum in Long Beach. We met a a couple months ago on a pub crawl at a meetup.com event. We've been having some issues since she wanted to become my exclusive girlfriend and I told her I wasn't interested in being monogomous.

We decided to meet and talk since she has come to grips with my lifestyle. It was the result of our time together ending abruptly one day and not talking for about a week.

....Fast forward to the part of the conversation I wasn't happy with. Especially my response.

She decided she was cool with just hanging out for sex while she started dating others. She started going through her busy week, taking weekends of the table, and then stating that she went dancing other nights during the week. So Thursday worked for her. I said ok, but as I did this my mind instantly thought "Thursday is a good sarging night, I would rather do Monday or Wednesday". When she told me about her schedule those nights weren't good. So why did I end up agreeing to Thursday? I took a step back to my old ways of not standing up for myself and not wanting to ruffle the feathers at this point and just agreeing. What I should have said was "we can do Thursday this week, but Monday and Wednesday work better for me longer term." That would have been so easy. I'm going to revist this. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose a Fuck Buddy, but it needs to be on my terms as well.